Zeal for your house has consumed me…

It makes absolute sense why Jesus would say this and fulfill this, but can this also my anthem? I’m finding it hard to keep my opinions (and most of them scripturally based) silent these days. I find myself having the same passion I had when I first met Jesus. However, instead of little knowledge and experience with Jesus and His Bride, I now have 23 years under my belt. 

In growing in maturity, I'm able to ask questions freely that are leading me closer to Jesus. I keep asking questions like, “Why does church have to be so complicated?” “Why is there no space for God in God’s house?” “If the Spirit moves like the wind, why don’t we let Him blow and follow where He goes?” “Why has fear of man entered the church and stayed?” “Why wouldn’t the gifts still be alive?” "Don’t we serve a living God?" "Didn’t Jesus raise himself from the grave?" "Why does the church so often feel dead?" 

 Let's talk traditional church services. Many are based on liturgy and on the history of what past churches have done. There’s such beauty in liturgy, in sequence, in history. But there’s also safety in those things, and we humans crave safety. We like clean lines, and we like to know what is expected of us. But what if God isn’t safe (He is after all an all-consuming fire)? What if He best shows up in the unexpected, not the scheduled? What if the danger is actually in keeping Him in the box we’ve created for Him? Really, who are we to know how God should show up?

If a corporate worship service has become a condensed can of soup that we are supposed to consume in 90 minutes once a week, then what are we supposed to do with the rest of our time when we are the church all the time? 

 I have so many questions, and so many concerns. If you’re like me, you may have been taught questions are dangerous. I believed this for many years. If I was to question anything about God that had been taught to me by my elders (referring anyone older than me who walked with God), then I would be met with judgement and seen as lacking faith. But when you read Scripture, you see that it is full of questions, and Jesus, himself, used questions as teaching opportunities. Jesus created us to NOT know all things. That's reserved for Him. Isn’t it natural that we ask questions then? We do NOT know the character of God until we ask, “God, who are you?” We do not know how He designed the church to function until we ask, “God, is this how you want it?” 

He is so kind and so loving. This I know to be true. He is a good Father, and He will never turn away from our questions or look down on us for asking. There’s such humility and freedom in admitting our lack of knowledge and understanding. This can only be met with His gentle leading and guiding to the right answers. He inclines his ear to us. He wants us to know most things through His perspective. I’ve asked questions and I’ve found freedom, because all the answers I still don’t know can rest in Jesus knowing and holding all things for me. I can be free because He has freed me. Nothing rides on me getting it right. The only thing I have to get right is Him as my Lord and Savior, the Creator and Restorer of all things. Like Paul, I’ve decided to know nothing but Jesus Christ and him crucified. 

The other night, I experienced a church “family meeting” with all the members of the congregation. We only heard from two pastors what the latest numbers were: how many new members, how much on budget we were in giving, how we are outgrowing our space and need to get into a new building. I could not help but think of Jesus and His 12 disciples. What did He talk about when the crowds left and it was just an intimate moment with his “members?” I can guarantee you it wasn’t how many people just showed up to the last sermon. It was most certainly about the heart of man and heart of God. Wouldn’t that time (our time) have been better spent in prayer over the church—over one another? It felt like a missed opportunity, and that grieved me. 

God, have mercy on us that we are a people who talk about praying and don’t pray right then. Forgive us, Lord, that we lack the silence needed to hear your Spirit and follow Him. Forgive our agendas, Lord.

So, what does it look like to create space for God? My husband and I have been talking about this for the past several months. We've actually created a podcast called "Life in The Space" that discusses this exact topic. We want to create space for God in every facet of life. This includes church, which may sound weird because don’t we go to church to meet God? You’d think so. Creating space for God to speak, to move, to show up in a church service is harder than you think. With all the songs, liturgy, announcements and sermon, there tends to be little silence. With having to accommodate lots of people with multiple services, the time crunch doesn’t leave room for silence, lingering or even much prayer. 

I'm creating this blog so that I can document all that we learn as we ask these questions and seek the heart of God on what He wants for us, not what we want for ourselves. I'm so happy to have you follow along! Thanks for listening.